alternate universe where Crowley responds to Nina “He’s not my bit on the side. That man is more to me than you can dream. He’s the moon when I’m lost in darkness and warmth when I shiver in cold. And his kiss still thrills me, even after a millennia. His heart overflows with the kindness of which this world is not worth of. I love that man beyond measure and reason. He’s not my bit on the side. He’s all and he’s more.”
‘He’s too pure of heart to be anyone’s bit on the side’
Is that why you’ve never made a pass, Crowley? Is that why you’re living in the car? Never tried to kiss him? Never initiated touch (it’s usually Aziraphale touching Crowley)? Never tried to ask for more? Never tried for the fabulous kiss?
Have you never turned around and seen the way he gazes at you, Crowley? Never seen the look of pure adoration or for that matter the looks of pure lust? Did you always think Aziraphale was too pure of heart for the love you wanted to offer him?
And then Nina says something and Aziraphale drags you into the dance and you think well perhaps, no less pure of heart but perhaps Aziraphale could want you, could want what you want.
But by the time you tried, Heaven had already stolen him.
Weird take, but it’s a good thing that Aziraphale didn’t change his mind after Crowley’s confession.
I know, I know, I screamed at Aziraphale as well, but it’s actually healthier this way. Yes, Heaven is toxic, and going back there is definitely not the healthy/good thing for Aziraphale, but the point is he has not realized it yet. And if he won’t see it, then there’s nothing Crowley can do to make him see it.
What just happened with Gabriel and Beelzebub acted as a catalyst for Crowley and Aziraphale, but in opposite directions: Crowley saw them going off together and thought: “this could be us.” Aziraphale saw them and thought (together with, I am sure, “this is us”): “Even Gabriel can change.”
If Gabriel, the angel that more than anyone else made Azriaphale’s time in Heaven, well, hell, can change, how can Aziraphale possibly think that Heaven as a whole can’t change? He’ll be in charge now. He can do good.
If Aziraphale had given up on that chance, he would have betrayed his morals, just as much as Crowley would have betrayed his own if he’d gone back to being an angel.
They love each other and they know this, but right now their morals bring them to different places. It hurts like a bitch, and it will hurt even more when Aziraphale realizes that Crowley was right and that Heaven is toxic, but Aziraphale will have to see it and believe it for himself.
hey, i’m sorry, i ate your boyfriend’s heart. yeah it was after he slandered, scorned and dishonoured my kinswoman. in the marketplace yeah. i mean he was approved in the height a villain so- yeah no i’m really sorry
Thinking about how Crowley was wearing his sunglasses during the kiss. Thinking about how it was not romantic, but rather desperate and angry. Thinking about how it was probably their first kiss ever, for both of them. Thinking about Aziraphale grasping at Crowley’s back. Thinking about the moment during the kiss where Crowley seems to try and pull Aziraphale even closer. Thinking about how Aziraphale most definitely wanted to kiss back but didn’t. Thinking about how Aziraphale could interpret it as Crowley tempting him. Thinking about how it was the most human way Crowley could possibly convey what he was feeling. Thinking about how it was awkward and went on for too long. Thinking about Aziraphale pressing his fingers against his lips afterwards. Thinking abou-
currently thinking about othello, much ado about nothing, beatrice, emilia, and the “difference between comedies and tragedies is how much power the women have” argument. everyone knows that othello and much ado are incredibly similar. they both follow a basic premise of “fucked up evil guy decides it would be pretty funny to convince a guy he doesn’t like that his wife/fiancé is cheating on him. guy immediately believes him and chaos ensues”. and in both plays, the relationships between the women are so important.
beatrice knows that hero is innocent - not because she has proof, but because she knows, loves and trusts her. likewise, emilia never even entertains the possibility of desdemona being disloyal, immediately recognising that someone must have lied to othello. through this, the women represent everything the men don’t have: trust, loyalty, solidarity and strength. the main difference between the two of them is whether anyone believes them.
beatrice has benedick, who trusts her and believes her, even though she has no proof. of course dogsberry and verges had a huge part in discovering the truth, but symbolically, it is benedick’s trust in beatrice that changes the narrative and ensures claudio doesn’t get away with his actions. all it takes is for one man, just one man, to believe the women, to change the course of the play and prevent it from becoming a tragedy. but emilia doesn’t have one man. her own husband is the one who caused the tragedy, and even when she insists to othello that desdemona is innocent, telling him that she has been with desdemona the whole time and seen nothing suspicious, he doesn’t listen to her. because she’s a woman, and a servant, and her word means nothing.
emilia is such a tragic character because, like beatrice, she is strong, intelligent, and loyal, but she lives in a world in which a woman’s word means nothing, and that’s one of the main factors that causes the tragedy. if just one man with any kind of power had listened to her, desdemona may not have died. but instead, they were both killed, because othello would rather believe that his wife is cheating on him despite everything he knows about her, than listen to a woman.
